Texas wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in the Church we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

• Changing riders
• Buying a strong whip
• Trying a new bit or bridle
• Moving the horse to a new location
• Riding the horse for longer periods of time
• Saying things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.”
• Appointing a committee to study the horse
• Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
• Increasing the standards for riding dead horses.
• Creating a test for measuring our riding ability
• Comparing the state of dead horses today
• Complaining about the state of dead horses today
• Coming up with new styles of riding dead horses
• Blaming the horse’s parents
• Tightening the cinch
• Passing legislation which declares that “this horse is not dead!”
• Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed
• Trying to resuscitate the dead horse
• Praying for the dead horse to be resurrected
• Convince a stranger that the dead horse is resting up for the next day’s work.
• Sell the dead horse to the stranger.

Author: Fr. Ed Gustafson in Green Valley, Az.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

“Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.”
– Larry Wilde

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
– Bernard Manning

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.”
– Unknown

“There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.”
– Robert Lynd

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
– Victor Borge

“Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.”
– P. J. O’Rourke

“Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer… Who’d have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?”
– Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”
– Jay Leno

“Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family… ”
– Berke Breathed

“Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.”
– Unknown

“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.”
– Dave Barry

Christmas Collection

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=> Tell me more about the Christmas Collection

Dial soap
Directions: Use like regular soap

Deodorant
Do not use intimately.

Tampax Tampons
Remove used tampon before inserting a new one.

A sticker on a toilet at a public facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.

Hotel Shower Cap
Fits one head.

A rock garden
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.

A box of birthday cake candles
DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.

Curling Iron
For external use only!

blanket from Taiwan
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes

Taiwanese shampoo
Use repeatedly for severe damage

Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer
WARNING: Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.

A flushable toilet brush
Do not use for personal hygiene.

A hand-held massager
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

A container of underarm deodorant
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.

A massage chair
DO NOT use massage chair without clothing… and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

A college girl wrote home:

Dear Mom & Dad,

I guess you heard by now that the dorm burned down. We were all in the basement smoking marijuana, and I guess somehow we set the dorm on fire. But no one was hurt, and we got most of our belongings out in time. Oh, and I’m getting married soon. You see, I have to, because I’m going to have a baby… you’ll meet Bob soon, he’s got a really swell Harley…

Actually… I’m not pregnant, and I don’t even know anyone named Bob… and I’m not going to get married. There was no fire and wouldn’t know what to do with marijuana… but I did flunk chemistry, and I just wanted you to be able to put it into perspective!

Your daughter

Take it to the Next Level
Perspective plays a big role in how we respond to things. How would we view the circumstances of life differently if we were to have God’s perspective? Would the same things still be important? Would some things suddenly have greater significance?

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

How do we gain God’s perspective:

1. Prayer
2. Understand the heart and character of God (Psalms 103:8-12)
3. The Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16)
4. The Mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16)
5. God Spirit within us (1 Corinthians 2:12-13)

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!