In an issue of “Meat & Poultry” magazine, editors quoted from “Feathers,” the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story:

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.

The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crack from the carcass impact, it’ll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they’re developing.

They borrowed the FAA’s chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer’s chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation:

“Use a thawed chicken.”

Source: “Meat & Poultry” magazine

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

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The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week’s vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again, rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC: “Does the campground have it’s own BC?” is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn’t old-fashioned at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn’t figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him.

After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn’t imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous even the normal delivery sounds can be heard.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the BC.

I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather.

If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember, this is a friendly community.

Sincerely,
(Campground Owner)

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

* Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
* I brake for no apparent reason.
* Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I love cats…they taste just like chicken.
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
* Born free…Taxed to death.
* Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
* Montana — At least our cows are sane!
* I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
* Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
* It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
* Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Four ministers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth.

One day, the odd pastor out, after the usual “3 to 1, majority rules” statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

“Oh, Lord!” he cried. “I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!”

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the minister finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved.

“A sign from God! See, I’m right, I knew it!”

But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the pastor prayed again: “Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, Lord, a bigger sign!”

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

“I told you I was right!” cried the minister, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The Pastor was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just as he said, “Oh God…,” the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The minister put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, “Well?!”

“So,” shrugged one of the other pastors, “now it’s 3 to 2.”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

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Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this really big, deep hole.

“Wow.. that looks deep!” “Sure does. Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles, throw them in, and wait…..no noise. “That is REALLY deep… here throw one these big rocks and see how long it takes.” Again, there was no noise after throwing in the rock.

“Look over here, there’s a railroad tie in the weeds. Lets throw it in, its gotta make a noise.” The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound from the hole.

The two stand there, amazed, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes straight toward the two men and then past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps into the air and into the hole. The two men are astonished by what they’ve just seen.

Then out of the wood comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. “Hey .. you two guys seen my goat out here?” “You bet we did! The strangest thing we’ve ever seen. Came running outta nowhere like crazy and just jumped right into this hole!” “Nah”, says the farmer, “Couldn’t have been my goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie.”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

* Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
* Is infancy a sin for infants if adultery is a sit for adults?
* How do I set my laser printer on stun?
* How is it possible to have a civil war?
* If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
* If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to also?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
* If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
* If you’re born again, do you have 2 belly buttons?
* If you ate pasta and antipasta, which have you done?
* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
* Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
* Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
* What happens when none of your bees wax?
* If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole plane made of this material?
* Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
* If most car accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why doesn’t everyone move?

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

* No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
* If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
* You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
* Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
* School lunches stick to the wall
*You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
*The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. So they decided to do a small test. They put a note on the front hall table that they had left. Around the note they put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The father told his wife, “If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will be a pastor, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a no-good drunkard.”

So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son read the note that they had left. Then he took the ten-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flipped through it, and put it under his arm. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.

The father slapped his forehead and said: “This is worse than I could ever have imagined!” “What?! asked the wife. “Our son is going to be a politician!”

Source: Unknown

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

10. You’ve reached the youth ministry office. We can’t take your call right now. Our phone fell in a wash tub of baked beans, gelatin, soda, ketchup, and fruit candy. Please call back on Thursday.

9. You’ve reached the children’s ministry office. We can’t take your call right now. To leave a message, take your pointing finger and press the key that looks like a small tic-tac-toe board. Then press the number “3” as in “three” wise men. Then press…

8. You’ve reached the music office. We have all gone to lunch at Miss Angie’s Tea Room and should return in about two or three hours. To leave a message, wait until you hear the A flat tone, then speak clearly while breathing from your diaphragm.

7. You’ve reached the associate pastor’s office. Brother Mike is so glad that you have called. He has been looking forward to talking to you. He will call you back as soon as he returns from visiting the nursing homes, delivering the opening prayer for the city council meeting, and buying Lord’s Supper supplies at the LifeWay store. God bless you and watch over you. And may your day bring bright hope for tomorrow.

6. You’ve reached the church receptionist. I’m currently on the phone with other parishioners. If this is an emergency, press pound 86 for the associate pastor’s office. If you want to know our worship service times, press pound 50. If you need directions to our church, press pound 35. If you want to speak to someone, please hold and I will be with you shortly……[approximate wait time is . . . 22 minutes].

5. Thank you for calling the prayer line. To listen to today’s prayer thought, press pound 77. To leave a prayer request, give us your name, address, phone number, the person you want us to pray for, that person’s address and phone number, why you want us to pray for that person, and whether you want that person’s name on our printed Wednesday night prayer list. Please do not go into a lot of detail regarding surgical procedures, number of stitches, and matters of continence.

4. Maintenance. I’m gone. Leave a message.

3. You’ve reached the Mother’s Day Out office. We’re…excuse me. May I help you? No, three-year-olds are down the hall. That’s right. No, the third door. We’re not here right now. Please leave a…. No honey, I don’t know where your mommy is. What room did you come from? Get your diaper off your head please, and tell me what room you came from?

2. You’ve reach the senior pastor’s office. Dr. Harbinger is in his study at the moment and cannot be disturbed. Please stay on the line and his administrative assistant, Dot, will be with you shortly. If you’re calling about a ministry need, please press pound 86 for the associate pastor’s office. If you’re playing golf with Dr. Harbinger this afternoon, please press 11.

1. You’ve reached the education ministry office. If you did not intend to call this number, press pound 86. If you were transferred to this office by accident, press pound 86. If you want to complain about the youth ministry, please press pound 22. If you are missing a part to your Sunday School coffee pot, press pound 41. If you forgot why you called, stay on the line and someone even more confused than you will be with you shortly.

Source: Gerry Peak at LifeWay.com

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

24 BEST RESPONSES IF FOUND ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK

24. “Oh, man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!”
23. “This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!”
22. “You don’t discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, DO YOU?!?”
21. “Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.”
20. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
19. “Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.”
18. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
17. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
16. “I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
15. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
14. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
13. “I’m doing the Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”
12. “It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”
11. “This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress.”
10. “Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!”
9. “I was working smarter, not harder.”
8. “Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
7. “I’m in the management training program.”
6. “The coffee machine is broken….”
5. “Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”
4. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
3. “Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
2. “It’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”

And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

1. “…and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!