Use Sarcasm
“Anybody ought to know better than that!” -“You’re acting just like you’re two years old! Where’s your baby bottle?” It’s devastating to a teenager to be “put down” (talked sarcastically to) in front of his peers. Wait until alone with a teenager to discipline him or her if it is at all possible! Take them aside if needed.

Publicly Embarrass Them
If you know that show of affection in public is embarrassing to them, refrain from it. Do not try to monopolize conversation with their friends. Be sure that you are friendly, yet not trying to be “cute” and entertain their friends.

Register Shock
Under no conditions register shock by raised eyebrows, quickly drawn in breath, grimacing (various facial expressions that betray). Teens will be hesitant to be honest with you the next time.

Be Dogmatic 
The more sure we are about our stand on a subject, the less dogmatic we have to be. If you feel that you are being reasonable, then you can more easily listen to the opinions of others. There is a lot of difference between the courage of our convictions and just plain stubbornness. When we’re wrong, we should admit our mistakes, not rationalize. They already see through it, and to say “I’m sorry” is one of the greatest tests of maturity! We grow ten feet tall in the eyes of a teenager.

Bluff
One of the most disgusting things you can do is bluff a teenager, As I said before, they know when you do this, they can spot it a country mile! We tend to lose respect for the opinions of those who bluff their way around!

Be Negative
Youth is so wonderful because they have not learned to say “It won’t work” or “We’ve never done it this way before.” One of their most thrilling attributes is that they are positive and enthusiastic and full of optimism. They will automatically reject negativism.

Mold them into your own image
Challenge them as youth to be the best person they possibly can be, but don’t seek to make them a reflection of yourself or the person you’d hoped to be! They were born to be a dynamic expression of their own personhood. Challenge them to be their best!

Make all the Rules
How are the rules of discipline decided? Remember that if you make the rules together and decide on the discipline together, most of the time the teenager will be harder on himself than you would have been on him. They are mighty fair when they have a part in the rule-making. Each side will have to give a little. Remember that if you give in on some of the more insignificant things, that when the big issues are at stake, teenagers will be more amenable to compromise.

Be In a Hurry
It takes time for kids to mature! Expect teens to be teens and help them to mature. Look for those teachable moments and listen when they have those moments they want to share, no matter how busy you are. Don’t look at your watch as if you can spare only a few moments more when a teenager is telling you something very important.

Betray a Confidence
It is a sinful thing to betray a teenager’s confidence. This will close more doors than you possibly imagine! Never use a previous moment of confidence by a teenager to press home a point. This makes them sorry they ever confided in you at all!

Criticize their music!
Listen to their music. There are many signals as to what is going on in the young person’s mind as we listen to their music! The loneliness, the frustration, the fear of so many things, they’re all there! Teens also do not appreciate something with which they are not familiar. Instead of complaining about their music, see that some uplifting music is played within their hearing.

Adapted from “Speak Out with Marge” by Marge Caldwell (Broadman Press)

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