Found these on cybersalt.org and thought they were humorous for today! While a bit funny, they are also a bit sad because I know some youth who have made similar New Year Resolutions. In fact I have made a few of these myself. We all know what we should do, but it is so easy to make excuses for ourselves.
This year, I resolve to…
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
- Don’t jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Don’t have eight children at once.
- Get in a whole NEW rut!
- Start being superstitious.
- Personal goal: bring back disco.
- Don’t bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
- Buy an ’83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
- Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
- Don’t eat cloned meat.
- Create loose ends.
- Get more toys.
- Get further in debt.
- Don’t believe politicians.
- Don’t drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
- Stay off the International Space Station.
- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
- Associate with even worse business clients.
- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus on the faults of others.
- Mope about my faults.
- Never make New Year’s resolutions again.
What does a turkey say?
“Gobble, gobble, gobble”?
A jewelry-lovin’ turkey?
“Bauble bauble bauble”
A dyslexic turkey?
“Boggle boggle boggle”
A turkey in the shoe repair shop?
“Cobble cobble cobble”
A turkey with a sore leg?
“Hobble hobble hobble.”
A football turkey say?
“Huddle, huddle, huddle”
A dieting turkey?
“Nibble, nibble nibble.”
A turkey who argues a lot?
“Squabble squabble squabble.”
Dizzy Turkey?
“Wobble wobble wobble!”
Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.
Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next Thanksgiving celebration as well as a for other familiar holidays. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for the various holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.
=> Tell me more about the Holiday Collection
I figured out why they call our language the “Mother Tongue.” Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.
Say what you will about healthy eating and all, but I’ve always found it awfully difficult to explain to my son (who’s 6’4″ to my 6′ in height), why junk food is bad for you.
One time my kids wanted to surprise me with a good breakfast in bed on Father’s Day. They put a cot in the kitchen.
If you think about it, Adam had more trouble than any of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father’s Day. I mean, what do you get somebody who’s Everything?
I started early teaching my kids the value of a dollar. From then on, they demanded their allowances in gold.
Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.
Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next Father’s Day event or activities in honor of fathers as well as a variety of other common holidays. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for the various holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.
=> Tell me more about the Holiday Collection
Creative Youth ideas: 1700+ Resources for youth leaders, pastors, ministers to help plan camps, retreats, and meetings using games, illustrations, Children's Worship, Bible Studies, object lessons, sermons, creative ideas,creative activities
