Found these on cybersalt.org and thought they were humorous for today! While a bit funny, they are also a bit sad because I know some youth who have made similar New Year Resolutions. In fact I have made a few of these myself. We all know what we should do, but it is so easy to make excuses for ourselves.
This year, I resolve to…
- Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
- Stop exercising. Waste of time.
- Read less. Makes you think.
- Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
- Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
- Don’t jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Don’t have eight children at once.
- Get in a whole NEW rut!
- Start being superstitious.
- Personal goal: bring back disco.
- Don’t bet against the Minnesota Vikings.
- Buy an ’83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
- Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
- Don’t eat cloned meat.
- Create loose ends.
- Get more toys.
- Get further in debt.
- Don’t believe politicians.
- Don’t drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
- Stay off the International Space Station.
- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
- Associate with even worse business clients.
- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus on the faults of others.
- Mope about my faults.
- Never make New Year’s resolutions again.
