This are supposedly real signs that didn't quite have the effect intended.
Sign in a laundromat:
Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
Sign in an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
Sign in an office:
After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
Sign outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
Sign outside a photographer's studio:
Out to lunch: If not back by five, out for dinner also
Sign outside a disco:
Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the district council.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire Parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order
Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants please stay in your car
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
Message on a leaflet:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
Sign on a repair shop door:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn't work)
Spotted in a toilet in a london office block:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
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