Category Archives: Parents Ministry

Parent ministry: Parents become very supportive when they know what you are doing.

Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about grandfather,” said the son. I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather’s direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day building blocks are being laid for the child’s future.

Let us all be wise builders and role models. Take care of yourself, … and those you love, … today, and everyday!


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Ways Teens Lose Communication with Parents

clay_figure.jpgBe sarcasic
Never use sarcasm to belittle your parents: for example, “my old lady” or “my old man.” Do not act in front of your friends as if your parents are stupid, using gestures, words, looks of disgust-you know what I mean! Do not betray your parents by discussing them at school with your friends, laughing at their weaknesses and failures.

Publicly embarrass your parent
Do not contradict your parents in front of their friends. This will embarrass them beyond measure. Talk to them about it later. Do not talk impudently to your parents, especially in front of their friends. People begin to lose respect for you, too! Do not ignore the fact that you have been spoken to. Be courteous and reply, even if you’re about to bite yourself because someone has said, “My, how you’ve grown!” (What did they expect? you’re thinking!)

Be shocked
You must realize that it’s not the easiest thing in the world to be a parent. When your parent seems ill at ease in the discussion of sex, don’t make it hard on them by acting shocked at what they say or how they say it. Remember, they didn’t talk freely about sex like you do, and it’s hard for them to shift gears in this area. When you see your parent acting or talking in a way that shocks you, at the right time, sit down and ask them why they did this. If you can tell them how it affected you, a new understanding may follow, and you can talk more freely about some of your other hangups, and theirs as well.

Be dogmatic
Be sure when we want something, that we’re not stubborn with our reasoning. Do not rationalize your mistakes. Your parents will be much more lenient than you think if you will admit that you’re wrong! Remember that the surer you are about what you believe, the sweeter you can be when someone differs with you. It’s when you’re not sure that you tend to come unglued when you’re challenged.

Bluff 
You must remember that each parent alive has already been along the road you’re traveling. They’ve already used all those same excuses, rationalized just like you do, told “those little white lies” and half truths. Do you ever wonder how in the world they caught on? Well, teenager, they’ve been there before and know all the road signs! Bluffing probably does more to make a parent tend not to trust their teenager than anything else.

Be Negative 
Don’t make up your mind that you’re not going to like the thing that your parent will suggest! Or that just because your parents like a certain friend, an idea, or a situation it will be the worst possible thing that could happen to you! When you’re in your early twenties, you’re going to be surprised at how smart your parents have become! Remember that your parents are people, and that they’re probably doing the best that they know how to do! Now, they may make some glaring mistakes, but they do love you and want you not to make the same mistakes they did!

Can you take a difference of opinion as a teenager? 
How do you act when your parents differ with you as to whether you should do something or not? Do you throw a fit and froth at the mouth? Don’t you know a compromise can be reached much better if you remain calm and try to talk it over? It’ll be hard to control yourself, but it surely pays off in the long run! Do you greet your parents with the phrase “Everybody’s doing it.” and can’t understand their fury and their retort, “I don’t care what everybody’s doing. I’m just responsible for you!” Well, you see, because everybody’s doing it really isn’t a very valid reason for you to do it, now is it? Don’t you know some things that everybody’s doing that you know isn’t good or right to do?

Refuse to listen to your parent’s music!
No telling what you may find out about your parents when you listen to their music! Do they like the real dreamy, romantic, type of music? Well, do you see why? Because they’re that type of person!

Adapted from “Speak Out with Marge” by Marge Caldwell (Broadman Press)


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The 5 C’s of Building Strong Families

strong_families.jpgCenter on God
Make all of life God-saturated. Make the Bible the most important book in your home and something the family reads everyday together. Pray with them and for them daily. Youth need to see the Word of God “fleshed out” in your life.

Care
This is “agape” love “that is unconditional, sacrificial, and unshakable.” We all need to be appreciated. Compliment your youth daily. Make it genuine and specific. Praise is the greatest motivation in the world for learning.

Connect
You must spend time with your youth. You can not buy your their affection. Youth are quite happy to exchange the luxury of “things” for their parents physical presence. You must be in physical proximity with your youth. Take them with you to the office or on an errand. If you travel spend as much of your “home time” with your youth as possible. Show your youth appropriate physical affection. A pat on the shoulder, a hug, a kiss, a hand held are means of touch that powerfully convey your approval. Discipline is also important but guard against abuse of any kind. Help them apply the principles that you have learned from God’s word.

Communicate
The less time spent in front of the TV the stronger the family. When the TV is off there is greater chance for conversation. Be spontaneous, be a good listener, be positive in your communication. Deut. 6:4-9 reminds all parents to teach God’s Commandments.

Commit
“Commitment is our resolve to always keep our families centered on God, to always love, to always build bridges to our children, and to always communicate to the best of our ability. It is a commitment to be a family no matter what circumstances or situations arise” (pp.16-29).

Source: Dr. William Mitchell and Michael Mitchell in “Building Strong Families”


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Searching for Dad

Game Description
Students must describe their Father to others to retrieve a photo of their father.

Game Materials
Photos of all the fathers of students

Optimal Group Size
Any size group.

Game Venue
Anyplace

Game Preparation
Instruct each student to bring a color photograph of his or her father to class. You might enlist the parents of smaller kids to do this.

Game Play 

  1. During the first five minutes, students must write a description of their fathers as seen in the photograph. For example, “My father is tall and handsome. He is wearing blue jeans and a white shirt.”
  2. The teacher should then collect all photographs.
  3. Photographs are then shuffled and distributed to various students. No student should have his or her own Father’s photograph.
  4. After photographs have been exchanged, the first student chooses another student and says, “Excuse me, but have you seen my father?” The student he or she asks responds, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”
  5. The first student then reads the first sentence of his or her description. The student being questioned responds with, “No, I’m sorry. I haven’t seen him,” or “Yes, as a matter of fact, he’s right here [returning the photograph],” or “I’m not sure. Describe him further.” If called upon to describe him further, the student reads more of his description.
  6. A small prize may be given to each student upon his or her successfully locating his or her father.

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Children Are Like Kites

You spend years trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you are both breathless. They crash … they hit the roof … you patch, comfort and assure them that someday they will fly.

Finally, they are airborne. They need more string, and you keep letting it out. They tug, and with each twist of the twine, there is sadness that goes with joy.

The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won’t be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you together and will soar as meant to soar … free and alone.

Only then do you know that you have done your job.

Author Unknown, Source Unknown


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

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The 7 Cries of Today’s Teens

For several years now the Gallup Poll has surveyed thousands of teenagers to discover their most important needs. The seven needs listed below have been in the teen’s “top 10” list for the last 6 years.

  1. The need to be trusted. Teens believe that their elders distrust them and regard them as rresponsible and unpredictable. Teens today want to be taken seriously – and we, as their parents, would be wise to create an environment at home that allows them to earn that trust.
  2. The need to be understood and loved. Please note that the teens who responded to the survey did not asked to be “fixed and made whole.” I believe they know their lives are in heavy transition at this point. But the data from the research is clear that teens tend to believe that their elders do not understand them. Teens crave to be listened to and loved . . . preferably by parents or guardians. (And if they don’t get this need met by you, Mom and Dad, they’ll go somewhere else!)
  3. The need to feel safe and secure. Say what? Wild, reckless, self-confident teenagers who know no fear need to feel safe? That’s right. They need to know their home is secure and their school is safe. Sadly these days such is not always the case.
  4. The need to believe that life is meaningful and has a purpose. Studies show that this is a growing need in the populace as a whole. Society in general is realizing that there are moral absolutes – and I’m convinced that Millennials (pre-teens and teenagers) can be the transitional generation for bringing spiritual revival to the world!
  5. The need to be listened to – to be heard. Though this might sound like #2, there’s a huge difference between feeling “understood” and “listened to.” The latter takes time, and the breathless pace we lead our lives doesn’t make that possible. As parents, we need to make sure our kids know they are being listened to and being heard.
  6. The need to be appreciated and valued. A poor self-image is a key factor in anti-social behavior . . . just ask the residents of Columbine and Paducah. Roughly one-third of all respondents to the Gallup survey indicated they felt worthless and unappreciated.
  7. The need to be supported in their efforts. This means anything from helping with homework to showing up at Little League or soccer games. Its one thing to get your kids involved in a lot of activities; the real benefit to your children, however, is when Mom and Dad also participate.

By and large, teens remain eternally optimistic, particularly about their personal futures. At the same time, however, they are apprehensive about the future of society as they face a host of problems that simply were not on the scene just a few decades ago.

They need you adults to stand in the gap with them. They have a heavy load to bear. But, with God’s help, you can make a difference in their lives. After all . . . you’re not just raising them to be good kids – you’re training them to become responsible adults!

(Excerpted from the book, The Seven Cries of Today’s Teens: Hear Their Hearts, Make the Connection by Tim Smith)


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Understanding Youth Needs

(in Order of Importance)

1. Physiological needs: These are the basic necessities of life.
2. Safety needs: These involve security, stability, protection, order, and freedom from fear.
3. Social needs: These involve the need to love and be loved, to feel accepted and to belong and to give and receive affection.
4. Esteem needs: These deal with confidence and competence, self-image, self-respect, and esteem from others.
5. Growth needs: Those needs dealing with potential and being all that one can be and become.

Some of youth’s greatest issues associated with these needs are those related to loneliness, poor self-esteem, and discovering self-identity. Other major issues include poor relationships with parents, school problems, prejudice and injustice, vocational decisions, and their desire to discover God’s will in their lives.

 


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Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers

10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don’t know where it’s been! (Judges 14:5-8)
9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! Leave those clothes outside, you smell like a dirty ol’ furnace!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You’re going to kill him some day!
5. Noah! No, you can’t keep them! I told you, don’t bring home any more strays!
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes! (Judges 6:11)
3. James and John! No more burping contests at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you the sons of thunder! (Mark 3:17)
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
1. Jesus! What do you think, you were born in a barn?


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

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Golden Gift

goldbow.jpgA father punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the Christmas gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found that the box was empty.

He yelled at her, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside of it?”

The little girl looked up at him and with tears in her eyes said sadly, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.” The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged her forgiveness.

He kept that gold box by his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as parents has been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Source: Unknown

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Night Before Christmas (By Parents)

smiley.jpgParents become very supportive when they know what you are doing.

1. Videotape a some of your lessons, games, outings, etc. and show them to parents. For added fun, find someone who can edit them and make a small video collage of youth events. Works great for youth group publicity too!

2. Invite parents along for youth events as chapperones and sponsors. To avoid student embarrassment ask students if the mind their parents along for the event. If they do, have parents work with a different group of youth that does not include their sons and daughters.

3. Create a parent email list. Let parents know of important events and your lesson topics and schedule.

4. Inform parents of upcoming topics and have them source for related magazine articles, newspaper clippings and other resoources related to the topic. You will be amazed at the time you will save and the variety of information they can find.

5. On an ongoing basis, ask parents to photocopy information, newspaper stories, and articles related to youth statitistics, issues, and other youth related information.

6. When your youth are involved, attend non-church events such as sports, plays, musical events, and award ceremonies. You will get opportunities to talk to parents and youth and they will appreciate how much you care.

7. Try to contact parents at least once a quarter if you have not talked to them for other reasons. The personal touch goes a long way toward establish good rapport with parents.

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