Category Archives: Parents Ministry

Parent ministry: Parents become very supportive when they know what you are doing.

What’s Wrong with Grownups

August 7, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

When a group of 10-year-olds in a church Sunday School class expressed their views of “What’s wrong with grownups?” they came up with these complaints:

Grownups make promises, then they forget all about them, or else they say it wasn’t really a promise, just a maybe.
Grownups don’t do the things they’re always telling the children to do–like pick up their things, or be neat, or always tell the truth.
Grownups never really listen to what children have to say. They always decide ahead of time what they’re going to answer.
Grownups make mistakes, but they won’t admit them. They always pretend that they weren’t mistakes at all–or that somebody else made them.
Grownups interrupt children all the time and think nothing of it. If a child interrupts a grownup, he gets a scolding or something worse.
Grownups never understand how much children want a certain thing–a certain color or shape or size. If it’s something they don’t admire–even if the children have spent their own money for it–they always say, “I can’t imagine what you want with that old thing!”
Sometimes grownups punish children unfairly. It isn’t right if you’ve done just some little thing wrong and grownups take away something that means an awful lot to you. Other times you can do something really bad and they say they’re going to punish you, but they don’t. You never know, and you ought to know.
Grownups are always talking about what they did and what they knew when they were 10 years old–but they never try to think what it’s like to be 10 years old right now.

(Source: For Families Only, J.A Petersen, ed., Tyndale, 1977, p. 253)

Would they say the same things of you today?

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Parents Ministry

Family vs. Church

August 3, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Jesus said that we must give up our family to follow him, but scripture also tells us that unless a person can manage his house well he cannot be a spiritual leader. For many people these two opposing instructions are difficult to reconcile.

We all know the “Greatest Commandment” is to love the Lord our God with all our heart soul, mind, and strength. The second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. The real question is to determine whether “church” falls under the category of “loving God” or “loving neighbors”? And if the “church” is grouped with “family” under the category of “neighbors”, then which is of higher priority?

Many people set the priority as follows

God
Neighbors
1. Family
2. Church

Others would set their priorities as follows

God
1. personal commitment to God
2. commitment to God’s church
Neighbors
1. Family
2. Others

In reality the real question is not one of priority between church and family but of personal commitment to God. God MUST be FIRST priority. Yet, we are each in different circumstances and the form or application of that total commitment to God may show itself in different ways. Sometimes God may lead us to minister to our family at the expense of prayer meeting or another ministry of the church. Sometimes God may lead us to serve in the church at the expense of time with family.

When it comes to a choice between family and church programs our real question is not whether family or Church is the higher priority, but what does God want you to do in this situation? if God wants you with your family, none of us are indispensable to the church, and God will take care of his people. If God wants you at the church, then he can take care of our families in our absence. Sometimes there is even a third option — that our families serve in the church together. We might even worship God together at home.

But if in general, either is practiced to the continued neglect of the other than we need to step back and re-evaluate. Sometimes problems at home may demand extra time and care. Sometimes those at church may demand extra attention. But God created both the family AND the church and his purposes must have a place for each.

Our mistake comes in the association of Christianity with the church. Our Christianity is not intended to be displayed just in Sunday morning worship or by attendance to a leader’s meeting, but in every aspect of life. The early church was not defined by a building but by the loving relationships between people. And while our relationship with God must be our first priority, our second most significant relationship is with our family. Yet both relationships are also connected.

MT 523 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, [24] leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

If we are not right with others, we cannot be right with God. “Others” includes our family and they need our ministry, our reconciliation, our gifts, and our presence as much, if not more so, then the rest of the body of Christ! At the end of the day God will not ask us “Did you spend more time with your family or with the church?”, but “Were you obedient? Did you do what I instructed you to do. Was my will done through your life?” We would like a simple equation, but instead God calls us to his will on each decision we make!

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Parents Ministry

Creating a Strong Family

July 31, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

When parents around the world describe the qualities that make their family strong, these are some of the things they talk about.

APPRECIATION AND AFFECTION

Caring for each other
Friendship
Respect for individuality
Playfulness
Humor

ABILITY TO COPE WITH STRESS AND CRISIS

Adaptability
seeing a crisis as a challenge
Growing through crisis together
Openness to change
Resilience

COMMITMENT

Trust
Honesty
Dependability
Faithfulness
Sharing

TIME TOGETHER

Quality time in great quantity
Enjoying each other’s company
Simple good times
Faithfulness
Sharing fun times

POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

Sharing feelings
Avoiding blame
Being able to compromise
Playfulness
Agreeing to disagree

SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

Hope
Faith
Compassion
shared ethical values
Shared moral beliefs

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Parents Ministry

What we can do as parents

July 28, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

I gave you life,
but I cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things
but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions
but I cannot always be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom
but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church
but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong
but I can’t always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes
but I cannot make you lovely inside.
I can offer you advice
but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love
but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to be a friend
but I cannot make you one.
I can teach you to share
but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect
but I can’t force you to show honor.
I can grieve about your report card
but I cannot doubt your teachers.
I can advise you about friends
but I cannot choose them for you.
I can teach you about sex
but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you the facts of life
but I can’t build your reputation.
I can tell you about drink
but I can’t say NO for you.
I can warn you about drugs
but I can’t prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals,
but I can’t achieve them for you.
I can teach you kindness,
but I can’t force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins
but I cannot make your morals
I can love you as a daughter or son
but I cannot place you in God’s Family.
I can pray for you
but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can teach you about Jesus
but I cannot make HIM your Saviour.
I can teach you to OBEY
but I cannot make Jesus Your Lord.
I can tell you how to live
but I cannot give you Eternal Life.
–Source Unknown

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Parents Ministry

Strayed

July 28, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Strayed
(Song and Lyrics by Church of Rhythm)

When I was young I grew up in a Christian family
I wanted to please my parents
I wanted them to be so proud of me
So I took their faith and I learned their religion
And I went to a church where everyone was a Christian

I strayed far, but I am fine.

Then I went away to school and found new friends
I wanted to please them to, to be liked by them
And if they didn’t need God, then neither did I
And I got to be so busy, that he pretty much slipped my mind

Well I’ve been out of school and I am finally alone
No one to tell me what to do, but no beliefs to call my own
But in my moments of loneliness, in my desperate independence
I wondered if there was a God and if he cared where I’d been

I strayed far but I think I’ve missed you God all this time

And when I’d run till I’d run out
When being broken made me look a second time
Well now I can see, I can see clearly
That you’ve been with me all this time

I strayed far, but you have been with me God all this time

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Parents Ministry, Youth Ministry

What can you do to help young people handle disappointment?

July 27, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Here are some suggestions to help parents and youth workers to effectively teach young people how to handle disappointments that occur in their daily lives:

Try to see situations from the child’s point of view as well as your own.
If you are responsible for setting up an expectation the child has, then own that and take steps to set up and expectation that is better for both of you.
To make the change to more realistic expectations validate the child’s feelings of disappointment
Relate a time when you experienced disappointment
Verbalise the feelings. Show the child the words that describe the feeling as this will help them describe theirs.
Enable the child to see that our feelings do not have to equal our actions.
Ask questions like:
- Do you feel disappointed some sometimes?
- Do you feel disappointed because we usually do this and today we aren’t?
- Does that make you feel frustrated?
- Does it make you feel angry?
Choose your words carefully and emphasise the word ‘FEEL’. “When this happens, DO YOU FEEL ANGRY?” This question implies that anger is a feeling…not an action. It’s a completely different question to “When this happens ARE YOU ANGRY”, which implies angry actions which we do not want the child to engage in. What you ultimately want is for your child to recognise their emotions and over time learn how to decide on appropriate and effective positive actions. This is a very empowering process that develops with practice and allows the child to feel in control of themselves.
Model how you handle disappointment. Verbalise your own mental processes when you are experiencing disappointment.
And lastly, if you know a situation is coming up that will be naturally disappointing to the child, then prepare your child:
- Let them know what’s going to happen so they don’t let their anticipation build.
- Validate that this will be disappointing for them. This implies that it’s OK to feel disappointed but that you expect they will know how to handle the feeling…that you have confidence in them and this gives them personal power to cope.
- Do not bribe them to pacify them. This implies you do not have confidence in them and removes their personal power to cope.

Helping children and youths to handle the emotion of disappointment does not take any more time than not helping them to handle the emotion of disappointment. In fact, it may save you time, help your relationship and empower your child to experience more happiness in their life.

By Vicki Jardine, Director of Highly Successful Kids.
You can catch up with Vicki at:
/highlysuccessfulkids.com

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Parents Ministry, Teaching Illustrations

Love Passed By

May 4, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

“A small child waits with impatience the arrival home of a parent. She wishes to relate some sandbox experience. She is excited to share the thrill that she has known that day. The time comes; the parent arrives. Beaten down by the stresses of the workplace the parent often replies: “Not now, honey, I’m busy, go watch television.” The most often spoken words in the American household today are the words: go watch television. If not now, when? Later. But later never comes for many and the parent fails to communicate at the very earliest of ages. We give her designer clothes and computer toys, but we do not give her what she wants the most, which is our time. Now, she is fifteen and has a glassy look in her eyes. Honey, do we need to sit down and talk? Too late. Love has passed by.”

Author: Robert Keeshan, better known to America as Captain Kangaroo.

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Announcements, Parents Ministry

Mother’s Day Ideas

May 2, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Mother’s Day is around the corner and Creative Youth Ideas has lots of ideas for your special mother’s day activity or event.

There are ideas for a Children’s Sermon on Mothers Day and illustrations and stories for a sermon to mothers or youth talk. There are also some great Mother’s Day games and other ideas for that Special Mother’s Day event.

Mother’s Day Games and activities for youth

Are You My Mother? – This game can be a fun filled activity for Mother’s Day
Baby Animals – In this Mother’s Day game idea, Children or Youth will look at mothers in the animal kingdom as an illustration of the caring relationships between mother and child.
Famous Biblical Mothers – Use these youth games as icebreakers which revolve around famous Biblical mothers
Guess the Mother? or Child? – Use this activity as an icebreaker for your youth or children’s Mother’s Day event.
Mother Child Trivia – This Mother’s Day Game idea for youth makes a great activity to encourage mother-child communication, especially among teens.
Mother of Who? – Play a game of charades using the names of Biblical Mothers.
Mother Says – Use these games on Mother’s Day for a Mother’s Day children’s sermon.
Mother’s Day Games – Use these three games for a Mother’s Day youth Activity.
Sayings of Mothers – This Mother’s Day teaching activity can be a Children’s sermon or a reminder that mothers look after us just as the Heavenly Father does.
Sock Guess – This game for Mother’s Day reminds children and youth of the numerous roles that mothers play in our lives

Mother’s Day Stories and Sermon Illustrations for Youth

A Mother’s Creed – This creed for Mother’s illustrates the sacrificial love that mothers have for their children.
A mother’s Sacrificial Love – A mother’s love is sacrificial.
America’s Greatest Source of Strength – Mothers are America’s greatest source of strength and inspiration.
Angel – A mother is an angel of God to a child.
Augustine’s Mother – God hears a mother’s prayers
Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul – No mountain is too high for a mother to climb for her child!
Children Learn What They Live – With a child, more is caught from their parents than is formally taught.
God’s Embroidery – Lessons on life from a Mother’s Embroidery
Godly Mothers – A godly mother is a rich blessing to her children.
George Washington’s Mother – All that I am I owe to my mother – George Washington
Honoring Mother – Discussion questions and practical steps for youth and children to honor their mother.
How teens can give their parents a heart attack – Learn how a youth can build the relationships with their parents!
How To Pray For Your Children – We need to pray for our children just as Jesus intercedes for us!
Love: 1 Corinthians 13 for Mothers – A Paraphrased version of 1 Corinthians 13 for Mothers
Love in the Home – A mother’s love transforms a house into a home
Mother’s Influence – A mother’s life and love remind us of God’s love!
Mother’s Translation – A godly mother changes lives and is a living example of God’s Word to children and youth!
Outstreched Arms – Mother’s, just like Jesus, know exactly what is needed to save the lives of their children.
Rescue the Perishing – The story behind the Hymn: “Rescue the Perishing” by Fanny Crosby
Scars of Love – Never judge another person’s scars, because you don’t know how they were made.
The Greatest Preacher – Who’s the greatest preacher in your family?
The Price of Children – What are the cost and returns on being a parent?
Thomas Edison’s Mother – A mother’s love can bring out the best in any child!
True Courage – Sometimes being a month takes a lot of courage.

Mother’s Day Humor

A Mother’s Rest – Every mother needs a little peace!
A Mother’s Stress – How is it that mothers can do so much?
Definition of a Mother? – What is a child’s definition of a mother?
Job Description for Mothers – This humorous job description for mothers reminds us of their great sacrifices and dedication.
Mother’s Day Gifts – A humorous look at the struggles of buying something special for mom or your wife on Mother’s day!
Mother’s White Hair – Is Motherhood stressful?
Poem for Moms and Dads – Humorous look at raising kids
Quotes From Famous Mothers – What famous mothers might say…
Really a Mom – Mom’s do things differently… how do you recognize a mom? Try these!
Ten Signs of a Frustrated Mother – Humorous look at motherhood
Top 10 Sayings of Biblical Mothers – If Biblical mothers were to speak today!

For Icebreakers and games for any occasion check out….

Icebreakers Ahead: Take it to the next Level”
not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities, but also includes lesson ideas and questions to smoothly transition into discussions about issues common to most groups.

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Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.

Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween or Fall Festival, and Thanksgiving event. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for all these holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.

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Parents Ministry, Teaching Illustrations

The Red Rose

May 2, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.

He asked her what was wrong and she replied, “I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents and a rose costs two dollars.”

The man smiled and said, “Come on in with me. I’ll buy you a rose.” He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother’s flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, “Yes, please! You can take me to my mother.”

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.

The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother’s home.

Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of Common Holidays.

Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you not only to plan your Valentine’s Day, but also to plan events for other common holidays. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for the various common holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.

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Game Ideas, Parents Ministry

Family Portrait

February 25, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Description
An icebreaker game for your next family focused youth event.

Resources
None

Preparation
None

What to do

Organize the youth into a circle facing outward with siblings standing together.
Organize the parents into a larger circle around the youth with spouses standing together. Parents should be facing their children in the inner circle. If some of the parents of the youth are not at the meeting designate sponsors as temporary parents.
On “Go” parents will rotate their circle by walking clockwise whereas the youth will rotate their circle walking counter clockwise.
When you yell out “Family Portrait” youth and parents must find each other as quickly as possible and line up together cheek to cheek grinning. (You might want to have some photographers around to take a few fun photos.)
The last family to line up cheek to cheek is eliminated from the circle and the game continues.
Continue to play until there is only one family left. Declare them the winners!

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Creative Youth ideas: 1700+ Resources for youth leaders, pastors, ministers to help plan camps, retreats, and meetings using games, illustrations, Children's Worship, Bible Studies, object lessons, sermons, creative ideas,creative activities